The Truth about Holidays

• Competitive sun-creaming. Use to be lower the better, now its go 30 plus or go home.
• 4 oclock crisps and beer. A necessity to 'make it' from lunch to dinner.
• We swear we will never become our mums but suddenly 'getting our hair we't in the pool is a fate worse than death.
• Doing nothing is exhausting.
• Foreign supermarkets are way better than home ones.
• But Foreign ketchup is never as good.
• Flight + change of routine = 'holiday constipation.'
• Day 3 cue the 'I could live here' conversation.
• You can only really tell how tanned/burned you are once you've got out the shower. Fact.
• The better the holiday the harder it is to get over.
• The piss-dip. We all know you've only gone in the sea to have a wee.
• Holiday hats. Idiotic. But impossible to resist.
• All inclusive holidays = a challenge.
• Everyone steala all the hotel toiletries. Don't they?!
• Epic bat and ball rallies. Not only do you feel like a hero. But you also deserve a beer.
• Sarongs. Never as glamourous in reality as they feel in your head.
• Saying hello/please/thank you/two beers does not constitute speaking the language.
• You must unpack before you go for a swim. Dems da rules.
• Flipflops need breaking up.
• Holiday food doesn't taste the same when you buy/make it at home: nutella & icetea are case in point.
• Tankini = pointless. Just a swimming cozzie split in two.
• We all need someone else's help to decide whether 'you'll need a cardie in the evening.'
• Picnics on the beach aren't worth the effort. 
• Sweat. Swim. Eat. Repeat.
• 1 1/2 -  weeks the average time the postcard reaches home after you.
• The comfyier you are on an inflatable. The more likely you are to be tipped off.

The Truth About Weddings

• Highly choregraphed first dance. So 5 years ago. See YouTube for reference.
• Hen / stag overkill. What's the point in spending £500 and travelling half way across the world to do what you can in your local? 
• Today's favours are tomorrows handbag clutter.
• However long you deliberate over the sitting plan, someone is always going to complain. Fact.
• Theme-tastic. Village fete, vintage, old fashioned glamour. How about just a wedding?
• Bridesmaid dresses. If you wouldn't wear it to a wedding, why enforce it on your best mates ?!
• Wedding car rip-off. No one ever says 'oh their wedding car was amazing.' By that time people just want to get to the party.
• The more amazing the shoe. The earlier you take them off.
• Maid of honour = maid of helping the bride go for a piss.
• Befriending an old person. Usually in the toilet. Aunt Hilda is suddenly your new best mate.
• People doing reading s= friends who didn't quite make it to bridesmaid or usher.
• Top-hats. Sound stylish but look absurd.
• The Competitive Bouquet Catcher. Nothing will stand between her and dropping a massive hint to her boyfriend.
• Wedding meal is actual called 'Wedding Breakfast'. Very confusing.
• The sulky unattractive bridesmaid who resents all the other bridesmaid for looking better than her.
• Rain on your wedding day has nothing to do with fertility. Its just shit.
• Wearing the same dress? Spend all day making a joke of it. By 9 it's worn very thin, yet you feel obliged to continue.
• The Most Amazing (Exhausting) day of your life.
• Free bar abuse. Who needs to finish a drink. Just leave it lying around and grab a new one.
• Everybody wants to laugh at the 'with my body I honour you' line.

You know you're drunk when you...

• You invite people to 'come in for a wee with you'.
• Befriend the toilet assistant all night. Then eventually pay £2 for a scabby old lollipop.
• Want to eat only fat and carbs. Chips and cheese. Toast and cheese. Chips on toast with cheese?
• Wake-up with a sense of self loathing  (You tell yourself its just the hangover paranoia. It tells you 'no, you were a twat last night').
• Think ringing someone 12 times makes them more likely to pick up.
• Leave your clothes in random place. Hello towel rail. You make a marvellous coat rack.
• Fall over. 
• Don't remember falling over, but the bruises on your body suggest you did.
• NEED to listen to Magic on the journey home.
• You smoke, even though ordinarily you detest it.
• Tell yourself 'honesty is the best policy'. When talking to your boss.
• Take up a bit of amateur Parkour. Jumping on stuff, swing round things, climb over stuff. Then wonder why you ache the next day.
• Jaegers make sense.
• Appreciate the coldness of the bathroom floor.
• Have to text with one eye shut.
• Confuse getting your bum/tits/mangina out with an impressive party trick.
• Decide walking barefoot on disease ridden, piss covered pavements is better than wearing shoes.
• Find yourself in fits of hysterics in otherwise boring locations, particularly the local shop.
• Cleaning your teeth is hard work.
• You wake up wearing shoes.
• Use random objects as clothes. Straw microphone? No thanks, I'll have this bottle-top monocle instead.
• Start dancing like you're on Big Fat Gypsy Wedding.

Being 30 Means...

• Worrying that a large portion of Topshop is too old for you.
• Knowing that even the 'two pints of water' trick won't save you from a hangover.
• Big nights are for a reason (birthdays, hen dos) not just because its the weekend.
• You own a selection of clothes that are 'practical'.
• You were embarrassed for Blur at the Brits.
• Your Mum often tells you things twice. 'Not knowing which one of your siblings she told'.
• Inbetweeners. Neither techie kids or techniphob parent. Best of both? Worst of both more like.
• Your slagbag has been retired.
• Being in a book club. Talking about being in a book club. Loving that book club more than practically anything else.
• Boys start drinking ale. They talk like experts. We know they just like the funny names.
• Weddings. Once a novelty now a norm. 
• Caring about 'how good your socks are'.
• Average spend on a bottle of wine has snuck up to £10.
• Seeing fashion come back round: Hello 90's Grunge.
• You have a joint account. But only because it doesn't feel so bad when you spend money on it.
• Barely being able to handle caffeine,  let alone any other stimulant.
• The Great Salary Divide. Suddenly working for a-levels/ going to a decent uni/ getting a proper job is paying off. For some people.
• Refer to students as 'looking young' (many of them were born in the 90's!).
• Triathlons. An Early indicator of the onset of a Midlife Crisis.

Amusing Skiing Behaviour

• 30% of your time must be getting dressed and undressed.
• Never film yourself skiing/boarding, you'll only be disappointed.
• Taking off ski boots = better than taking a poo?
• Novelty hat wearers: chickens, dreads, helmets with ears. Embarrassing not funny.
• Phantom Farter. There's one in ever telecabin.
• 'Idiots'. The collective noun for snowboarders who sit in packs across the piste.
• 'The Great Layer Debate'. Constantly in search of that elusive 'perfect temperature'.
• Polling. Makes everyone feel like an obese penguin.
• Skiing in jeans = twat.
• Obligatory snowball fights. Fun in principle. Cold in reality.
• Meals must consist entirely of: ham, cheese, bread, cheese, potatoes, cheese, more cheese.
• Your biggest wipe outs must only happen immediately under busy chairlifts.
• Vin Chau or Chocolat Rum? An impossibly difficult decision.
• Chalet living. The lottery of 'swinging', without the sex.
• Chatty ski-school kids. You don't know what they are saying.They don't care.
• The Ancient Art of Lighting a Fag on a Chairlift. Gone but not forgotten.
• However much you ski / how cold it is you will never burn off the calories you consume.

The Problem with January

• Detox Pushers - why would I try to give up everything I love in the most depressing month of the year?
• Finding the motivation to exercise is hard enough. Having to do it in the dark is brutal.
• You look as sallow as an old white towel.
• It's followed by February.
• Feels as if you are half way through winter. In reality it's only just begun.
• Sherlock has finished.
• The house is cluttered with gifts you didn't want.
• All the fun (not doing any work) in December comes back to bite you.
• Even eating has lost its appeal.
• Pay day is a mirage that never seems to get any closer.
• You are at the furthest point from a summer holiday.
• Having more homemade chutney in your fridge than actual food.
• People insist on saying 'happy new year', long after the happiness and newness have gone out of it.
• Already tired of hearing how 'we are going to leverage the jubilee/Olympics/euros'. Us and everybody else.
• You don't even get the pleasure of writing a date with a new year anymore.
• Eating left-over mince pies/chocolate/Christmas cake out of obligation rather than desire.
• No retail therapy.

Cliches of the Office Party

• The Affair  - spend all year keeping it quiet, only to grope each other shamelessly in front of everyone.
• Food. Always too little too late.
• 'Justin'. The geek who turns out to be an epic dancer.
• 'Gary'. The fit guy who turns out to be a terrible dancer.
• Singalong - heartfelt at the time, excruciating next time you are in a meeting together.
• Sexy santa/gangster/cowgirl. Dressing like you belong in an Anne Summers catalogue will not enhance your career.
• Token faller. No party is complete without someone stacking it on the dance-floor.
• The crier. Thankfully she won't remember what she was blubbing about or the fact she walked around with mascara down her face for the rest of the night.
• 10.01. The exact time when the art of conversation becomes the art of 'talking at you'.
• NBOF (new best office friend). The friend equivalent of a pull.
• Thinking everyone's gone home. Only to find them huddled like tramps in a door-way smoking.
• Growing Old Disgracefully.  People in their 40's acting like they're in their 20's.
• Next day roller coaster. The better the banter in the morning, the worse the paranoia in the afternoon.

Achievable New Years Resolutions

• Iron only shirts. And only when they are REALLY creased.
• Limit charity work to sponsoring people for sports events.
• Limit waxes to before holidays.
• Never lose that half a stone.
• Exercise at least one day less a week than you want.
• Get sucked into more social media.
• Cut your hair 4 weeks after you realise you need it cut.
• Invest heavily in fashion items. Leave those 'classic items' to someone else.
• Buy the new iphone because of its 'new technologies', but never use any of them.
• Imagine you might have some allergy, but avoid actual diagnosis.
• Never stop at one biscuit. Unless that is all you offered.
• Settle for seeing each others lives on facebook rather than actually meeting up.
• Save money for the first half of each month. Then resort to spending it the second half.
• Pretend that smoking 'only when you're drunk' counts as 'giving-up'.
• Limit 'starting your business' to watching dragon's den.
• Get 1 hours less sleep a night than you'd like.
• Try and fail to find the line between to sober and too drunk.
• Always steal a chip. Even though the person eating them wishes you wouldn't.

Worst Bits About Xfactor

• Daft 'hello' gestures. Who in real life puts their arm up or salutes. A wave is fine.
• Female judges wearing heels so high they have to cling to one another to get down the stairs.
• Swirly camera work. Television equivalent of the waltzers.
• The expression 'nailed it'.
• Kitty.
• Judges standing up after their acts perform. Sit down.
• Not being able to decide whether Caroline Flack is fit or not.
• Smugness of previous contestants who come back to perform a year later. Like going into school after you've left.
• Leaving with the guilt of knowing I was once mean about Jessie, Poor girl.
• The 'back-story'. Just get up there and sing...
• The quality of Louis Walsh's dye job.
• Louis' loves of boy band.
• When anyone uses that bit of stage that goes round behind the judge. AWKWARD.
• Sinita.
• Kelly says 'Momma' or 'putting it down'.
• Kelly's moving beauty-spot.
• Telling contestant 'you're already a star'. No your not, come march no one will know who you are.
• Gary's lack of sense of humour.
• Feeling dirty for liking One Direction.
• Amelie Lilies half-closed eyes. Remove the falsies.
• Thanks for opportunity. How about taking the opportunity to say something original?
• Realising you'd be in the 'over 25's. The Raggy Dolls of Music.
• 80% of the styling.
• Devlin's heart of stone.

Best Things about Winter

• Being able to see your breath.
• Rebel shaving. Only doing your armpits every other day.
• Satsumas. Impossible to eat only one.
• Mince pies.
• Being able to look forward to summer.
• Carbs.
• Mulled Wine. 
• Christmas jumpers. The worse the better.
• Slagging off Christmas ads.
• New coat and boots. The adult equivalent of new school uniform/ pencils.
• Hoping you'll get snowed in..
• Talking about being snowed-in once you've been snowed in.
• More carbs.
• Stockings. THE. BEST. BIT. ABOUT. CHRISTMAS.
• Log fires. A legitimate and romantic excuse for laziness.
• Brandy Butter. Alcohol + Sugar + Butter = Winner.
• The smell of roast chestnuts from street vendors. Not that you'd ever dream of buying them.
• Building a snowman. Hoping you don't roll dog pooh up in it.
• Holidays are coming, holidays are coming...
• Singing (or yelling) Christmas carols.
• Christmas shopping. Gets a bad name
• Advent Calendars. Chocolate before work? why not.
• Laughing at the person still wearing their paper hat long after every one else has given up.
• The blind optimism of new years resolutions.
• Christmas Eve. Kicks New Years Eve's arse.
• Epic turkey sandwiches.

Reasons I Envy Old People

• They get to eat as much cake as they like.
• They always know better. 
• Incredibly cosy and sleep inducing homes.
• Never have fiver? They've got 'em all
• No fear of death. You know Joyce down the road? she died last week. As natural as if Joyce had nipped to the supermarket rather than the afterlife.
• Political Correctness. A new fangled concept to be ignored.
• Going to the hairdressers just to get their 'hair set'. The original WAGS.
• No more struggling to get up. OAP's are always up by 6.
• Elasticated waistbands.
• Stanna Stairlifts. Everyone secretly wants a go.
• Free travel.
• Who needs karaoke when you can have an impromptu sing-a-long whenever you like?
• You sit in the comfiest chair while everyone else clears up.
• They survived a war. Enough said.
• 'Having your own look'.  If you want to wear a shirt and tie everyday, you can.
• Elastic waist bands.
• Walking sticks. A weapon cunningly disguised as a walking aid
• Being Beyond the Law. The street you not suppose to go down? The 'Do Not Touch Sign? Doesn't apply to you.
• That special small bread.
• Someone boring you? feign deafness.
• Everyone boring you? just doze off.
• Blue hair dye. Scowled at on teenagers, swept under the cupboard with old people.

Better in theory than Practise

• Wearing killer heels to important events.
• Ice-cream sodas.
• 3rd glass of wine at lunch.
• Rearranging your bookshelf or wardrobe. There is always a point half way through when you feel hot, cross and wish you hadn't done it.
• Travelling a rush hour with large objects.
• Shaving your arms. Every teenage girl has tried it.
• Whit nail varnish.
• Pulling an all nighter for anything.
• Cutting your dolls hair. It never grows back.
• Trying to read Shantaram.
• Playing Trivail Pursuit stoned.
• Asking 'can i do anything to help' just to be polite. Half an hour later you are still peeling potatoes.
• Oxford street on a saturday. You think 'it won't be that bad'. So does everybody else.
• Spending more than 4 days with your family.
• Trying a new recipe at a dinner party.
• Camping.
• Food in meetings.
• Not getting dressed all day. By 4 o'clock you feel rotten.
• Sambucca.
• Pulling a sicky. The guilt means you don't actually enjoy the day.

Amusing Office Behaviour

• Over keen all-staffer emails - save your banter for the changing rooms boys.
• Female pooh missions - elaborate plans to avoid people knowing you shit. Including flushing, padding out with toilet roll, going to toilets outside of the office.
• 'Saming' - those weird days when half the office come in wearing the same thing. 
• Do you mind if I  'access your screen remotely?' say IT. Yes I do. Because it feels as if you're going through my underwear drawer.
• Stationery hoarding - it's impossible not to take a couple of extra bits. Especially highlighters.
• The size of your notepad is relative to the size of you salary. Grads have A4 black & reds. MD's have pocket-size moleskines. CEO have PA's.
• The Leaving Gift Collection.  Leaves you feeling resentful and guilty in equal measures. Much like church collections.
• Playing dumb to IT. Everyone does it, so it won't get you anywhere.
• Food in meetings. Good in theory. A mine-field in practise.
• The mysterious world of HR. Who are they and what do they do?
• We've all got a family. Doesn't mean i feel the need to plaster their ugly mugs round my desk.
• Tea laws says you must offer to make everyone a brew, even when you really don't want to.
• Where do all the stolen chargers go? to the same place as socks, hairbands and lighters?
• The are two types of people: those who put new paper in the printer and those who don't.
• Awkward kitchen chat. 
• Awkward kitchen chat avoidance.
• Competitive staying late. One game nobody can win at.
• Accidental Bladder Buddies. When you, unfortunately, fall into the same toilet routine as somebody else.
• Novelty pens. Vaguely amusing at school, tragic at work.

Ibiza wouldn't have been Ibiza without...

• Egg dogs
• Fanta Limon.
• Painting nails. 
• Rat in a dress.
• Uncle Paul - the fountain of knowledge.
• Lucy's Big Old (Young) Tits.
• Regretamin.
• 'Saming'.
• Nick & Akin spending 3X as much as everyone else on every night out.
• Mitch & The Party Bus.
• Polly's injuries. (twisted ankle from Brahms, infected bited from me).
• The freakiest Postman Pat and Lady Di ever.
• Nick & Laura's wedding.
• DICKO AND OLLYS ENGAGEMENT (this deserves caps).
• The Cottage - from lovely retreat, to crime scene, to rancid hellhole.
• More Fanta-Limon.
• The joy of the kettle arriving.
• Tom-the-Fixer / Stalker.
• Pool fun - weird flicky hair and some group diving.
• Submarine (the slowest Book Group have ever read a book?).
• The head toucher at Bora Bora.
• The boobs at Blue Marlin
• Sam's dodgy playlist.
• The Healing Rocks. No healing in sight. Have a jelly fish sting instead.
• Even more Fanta-Limon.
• Nick skipping endlessly.
• Never ending tuna-pasta.
• 30c beers.
• Collecting 12 wrists bands on a night out. Pretty exclusive eh?
• Thinking 15 euro is a reasonable price for a drink.
• Eating your body weight in crisps.
• The leaky fridge.
• Realising Cafe del Mar is a massive let down and San Antonio is a hell hole.
• An endless search for pool lights.
• Day beds. Why utilise the space, when you can huddle together in the safety of two beds?
• Hoping that teliing cabbies 'casa azul' is enough to get you home.
• Rowan and Laura being organizing legends.
• 22 bloody amazing people in one super duper villa.
• Oh and some more Fanta- Limon.

Amusing Airport Behaviour

• The older you get the early you arrive at the airport
• Happy chappy check-in banter - Must be insanely annoying for the staff. You are going on holiday. They aren't.
• Free money. Money you spend at the airport doesn't count.
• Speedy -boarding smuggery. You paid to get on the plane first. We chose not to. Don't act as if it's some amazing privilege bestowed upon you.
• Passport/ boarding pass uncertainty. Never knowing what you need when. Cling onto both just in-case.
• 'Buy the telegraph, get a free bottle of water'. Always do the deal. Never read the paper = a pointless marketing exercise.
• Queuing to get on the plane. Why wouldn't you want to sit on their for any longer than you have too?
• In flight shopping magazine. Never buy anything, yet you still study it in detail.
• Weight restriction. What a joke. It should be based on the combined weight of you + your bag. 
• Velour tracksuit 'travelling outfit'. Pure chav.
• Full makeup and heels won't get you an upgrade. If you were actually rich & glamorous you'd have paid to fly business.
• The air-steward stare. Next time they are serving food or drinks watch how everyone within 3 rows stares obsessively. Willing them to serve them.
• Crouching in the aisle/ perching on the arm of your seat won't get you off the plane any quicker.
• No one ever waits until they are well inside the airport terminal to turn their phone on.
• Must get rid of currency. Sales of toblerone must have dropped since the euro.
• You are desperate for 'NOW BOARDING' to appear. Then panic when it does.
• Head to head. The silent race you have with other passengers walking to the plane / passport control.
• Shrinking In flight snacks. Soon there will be a lone cheese savoury in a plastic packet.
• Baggage Carousel Time Warp. Every minute feels like ten.

Things Over 50's shouldn't wear

• Too much fake tan.
• Ankle/toe jewellery.
• Flipflops with a smart jacket. Unless you can be described as 'very good looking', this should be avoided at any age.
• Uggs.
• Bright red hair.
• Statement nail varnish. Especially black.
• Slogan t-shirts.
• Clothes borrowed from their children. Just because you can doesn't mean you should.
• Sequins. Gaudy not glam.
• Heavily manicured facial hair.
• Wedges which do up round your ankle. As uncomfortable to look at, as they are to wear.
• Baseball caps. Except when partaking in sport.
• Outfits that could be described as cute.
• False eyelashes.
• Patent Leather (see sequins).
• Push-up bras.
• Anything influenced by skate, surf or snowboard fashion.
• On-trend sunglasses.
• Handsfree kits when not behind the wheel of a car.

Life Lessons

• High necklines + big boobs = no go.
• When men are with men all they are thinking about is being there with other men.
• Nothing good happens after 2 am.
• Eating chicken and eggs together is wrong.
• Fish 'n Chips. Better in principle that reality.
• Every pair of sunglassses eventually gets lost.
• Cats sense hatred.
• You can never own too many condiments.
• Nights you look forward to always disappoint. Nights you dread often come up trumps.
• Change is as good as the rest.
• If you haven't read Harry Potter now you, you are never going to.
• Better to be a mug than be tight.
• The hottest people at school become the most jaded/fattest adults. Early success with the opposite sex is there undoing.
• Simple pleasures can't be beat. Eating. Sleeping. Cleaning teeth. Having a shower. Going for a Pooh.
• That third glass of wine always comes back to bite you.
• Don't wear tights when going clothes shopping.
• Always carry a brolly in England. Even a beautiful day can end up torrential.
• Red heads should never dye their hair black.
• Do not persist with a fluffy apples.

Things that are harder than they should be:

• Front crawl.
• Writing a good message in leaving cards.
• Fixing a jammed printer.
• Lying a towel out on the beach.
• Packing away a towel on a beach with out getting sand in your eyes.
• Arranging flowers. If in-doubt tell yourself you were going for the rustic look.
• Painting your toe-nails.
• Knowing where to put a wet umbrella.
• Looking sporty not butch in sports gear.
• Getting dressed in a tent.
• Making good scrambled egg.
• Killer sudoku.
• Blow drying your hair.
• Folding the Sunday papers when you've finished with them.
• Baking. If in doubt stick with rise-crispy cakes.
• Making towels hang nicely on a rail.
• Knowing what the correct portion of cereal is.
• Applying liquid eye liner.  You inevitably end up looking like Amy (RIP), but not in a good way.
• Going for a wee in the sea. 
• Using those card readers for online banking
• Putting pepper corns in a mill.
• Spelling availability.
• Thinking of new lists. Any ideas welcome.

Amusing Supermarket Behaviour

• The scabby aisle inspection. Distrust that they actually might be selling you something horrific.
• Eggs are never being where you expect them to be.
• Romantics.  Standing arm in arm looking at pasta sauces. Oh how things change...
• Repetitive deals. You've offered me 2 for 1 on Cheddar, prawns & Pizza Express pizza for the last year. It doesn't excite me.
• 'Basing' - planting your trolley somewhere and using it as a base-point to grab items in the surrounding area.
• Trolley Confusion Guilt (often occurs when basing) - the awful embarrassment/shame you feel on thinking someone else's trolley is your own. 
• Give Away Item - the one key piece, often nappies, which saves you from actually putting your stuff in their trolley.
• Self check-out abuse. It's impossible to complete a transaction without it shouting at you about items in the bagging area.
• Treats. Every big shop deserves a treat.
• Supersizers - people who get massive everything, you picture 10 screaming kids  at home
• Too much for a basket. Too little for a trolley. Middle sized shops are a a no-mans-land.
• Forgotten item dash. Requires one person to be the dashers, while their partner 'stalls at the till'.
• Loyalty Card shame - Have you get a loyalty card? no sorry I forgot it. No need to be sorry.
• Token drunk - Two cans of special brew. One reduced-price pastie from the scabby aisle. Zero shame.
• Disbelief at an item not being there. 'There's no rocket!' you exclaim, as if saying it makes it true.
• Purchase pride. You're so chuffed with the delicious thing you've got for tea that you pick it up and admire it at the check-out.

Wasted hours of my life

• Facebook.
• Nicholas Cage films.
• Writing ads for various clients who only want to make the rubbish ideas they've come with themselves.
• Ayers rock.
• Travelling to Ayers rock.
• Explaining to my husband a million times about clothes in the wash basket. 
• Waiting at the wrong luggage carousel at terminal flight.
• Baking spotted-dick for my brownie pack. only to ruin it by putting a tbls rather than a tsp of salt in.
• 2 years of German lessons.
• Looking at weather websites on day 4 of 9 days of rain on my honeymoon.
• A digital presentation that showed 'cutting edge work' that was 2 years out of date.
• Buying, wearing & organising outfits round high heels that get taken off midway through the night.
• Enduring a failed root canal.
• Attempting to teach Derek my dachshund anything.
• That Boyzone concert.
• Myspace.
• Listening to a friends/family saying 'This time they are giving up smoking FOREVER.'
• Doing sit ups. My stomach refuse to show any definition.
• Trying to cartwheels/handstands. I'm not made for it.
• Making a beautiful cheesecake that ended on the floor en route to the lunch.
• Tidying my wardrobe. It returns to being higgledy piggledy within a week.