Amusing Supermarket Behaviour

• The scabby aisle inspection. Distrust that they actually might be selling you something horrific.
• Eggs are never being where you expect them to be.
• Romantics.  Standing arm in arm looking at pasta sauces. Oh how things change...
• Repetitive deals. You've offered me 2 for 1 on Cheddar, prawns & Pizza Express pizza for the last year. It doesn't excite me.
• 'Basing' - planting your trolley somewhere and using it as a base-point to grab items in the surrounding area.
• Trolley Confusion Guilt (often occurs when basing) - the awful embarrassment/shame you feel on thinking someone else's trolley is your own. 
• Give Away Item - the one key piece, often nappies, which saves you from actually putting your stuff in their trolley.
• Self check-out abuse. It's impossible to complete a transaction without it shouting at you about items in the bagging area.
• Treats. Every big shop deserves a treat.
• Supersizers - people who get massive everything, you picture 10 screaming kids  at home
• Too much for a basket. Too little for a trolley. Middle sized shops are a a no-mans-land.
• Forgotten item dash. Requires one person to be the dashers, while their partner 'stalls at the till'.
• Loyalty Card shame - Have you get a loyalty card? no sorry I forgot it. No need to be sorry.
• Token drunk - Two cans of special brew. One reduced-price pastie from the scabby aisle. Zero shame.
• Disbelief at an item not being there. 'There's no rocket!' you exclaim, as if saying it makes it true.
• Purchase pride. You're so chuffed with the delicious thing you've got for tea that you pick it up and admire it at the check-out.