Sometime, about a year ago, I suddenly started hating the tube. 2 minutes at a signal and I am freaking out.

To take my mind off things I begun writing lists, each inspired by my journey on the underground.

Monday, 28 May 2012

The Truth about Holidays

  • Competitive sun-creaming. Use to be lower the better, now its go 30 plus or go home.
  • 4 oclock crisps and beer. A necessity to 'make it' from lunch to dinner.
  • We swear we will never become our mums but suddenly 'getting our hair we't in the pool is a fate worse than death.
  • Doing nothing is exhausting.
  • Foreign supermarkets are way better than home ones.
  • But Foreign ketchup is never as good.
  • Flight + change of routine = 'holiday constipation.'
  • Day 3 cue the 'I could live here' conversation.
  • You can only really tell how tanned/burned you are once you've got out the shower. Fact.
  • The better the holiday the harder it is to get over.
  • The piss-dip. We all know you've only gone in the sea to have a wee.
  • Holiday hats. Idiotic. But impossible to resist.
  • All inclusive holidays = a challenge.
  • Everyone steala all the hotel toiletries. Don't they?!
  • Epic bat and ball rallies. Not only do you feel like a hero. But you also deserve a beer.
  • Sarongs. Never as glamourous in reality as they feel in your head.
  • Saying hello/please/thank you/two beers does not constitute speaking the language.
  • You must unpack before you go for a swim. Dems da rules.
  • Flipflops need breaking up.
  • Holiday food doesn't taste the same when you buy/make it at home: nutella & icetea are case in point.
  • Tankini = pointless. Just a swimming cozzie split in two.
  • We all need someone else's help to decide whether 'you'll need a cardie in the evening.'
  • Picnics on the beach aren't worth the effort. 
  • Sweat. Swim. Eat. Repeat.
  • 1 1/2 -  weeks the average time the postcard reaches home after you.
  • The comfyier you are on an inflatable. The more likely you are to be tipped off.

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