Sometime, about a year ago, I suddenly started hating the tube. 2 minutes at a signal and I am freaking out.

To take my mind off things I begun writing lists, each inspired by my journey on the underground.

Thursday, 22 December 2011

Cliches of the Office Party

  • The Affair  - spend all year keeping it quiet, only to grope each other shamelessly in front of everyone.
  • Food. Always too little too late.
  • 'Justin'. The geek who turns out to be an epic dancer.
  • 'Gary'. The fit guy who turns out to be a terrible dancer.
  • Singalong - heartfelt at the time, excruciating next time you are in a meeting together.
  • Sexy santa/gangster/cowgirl. Dressing like you belong in an Anne Summers catalogue will not enhance your career.
  • Token faller. No party is complete without someone stacking it on the dance-floor.
  • The crier. Thankfully she won't remember what she was blubbing about or the fact she walked around with mascara down her face for the rest of the night.
  • 10.01. The exact time when the art of conversation becomes the art of 'talking at you'.
  • NBOF (new best office friend). The friend equivalent of a pull.
  • Thinking everyone's gone home. Only to find them huddled like tramps in a door-way smoking.
  • Growing Old Disgracefully.  People in their 40's acting like they're in their 20's.
  • Next day roller coaster. The better the banter in the morning, the worse the paranoia in the afternoon.

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