Sometime, about a year ago, I suddenly started hating the tube. 2 minutes at a signal and I am freaking out.

To take my mind off things I begun writing lists, each inspired by my journey on the underground.

Friday, 9 September 2011

Things Over 50's shouldn't wear

  • Too much fake tan.
  • Ankle/toe jewellery.
  • Flipflops with a smart jacket. Unless you can be described as 'very good looking', this should be avoided at any age.
  • Uggs.
  • Bright red hair.
  • Statement nail varnish. Especially black.
  • Slogan t-shirts.
  • Clothes borrowed from their children. Just because you can doesn't mean you should.
  • Sequins. Gaudy not glam.
  • Heavily manicured facial hair.
  • Wedges which do up round your ankle. As uncomfortable to look at, as they are to wear.
  • Baseball caps. Except when partaking in sport.
  • Outfits that could be described as cute.
  • False eyelashes.
  • Patent Leather (see sequins).
  • Push-up bras.
  • Anything influenced by skate, surf or snowboard fashion.
  • On-trend sunglasses.
  • Handsfree kits when not behind the wheel of a car.


  1. Converse all stars.
    deisel Jeans.

  2. Nobody should wear handsfree kits when not behind the wheel of a car, ever. I think they're either talking to me or to themselves and I get frightened.