Sometime, about a year ago, I suddenly started hating the tube. 2 minutes at a signal and I am freaking out.

To take my mind off things I begun writing lists, each inspired by my journey on the underground.

Wednesday, 22 June 2011

Reasons I wouldn't mind being a man

  • The ability to piss anywhere.
  • Getting to use tools like sledgehammers.
  • No pressure to buy presents or remember birthdays.
  • The option to have a go a mate for being a dick, knowing it won't escalate.
  • Carving. All the glory of the roast with none of the handwork.
  • Wardrobe. Nice shirts, nice trousers, nice tshirts. So easy.
  • No pmt. Mental hormones = excessive tears and eating? Not good.
  • 20 quid hair cuts.
  • Choice of summer jobs. Cutting the lawn, 'bit of labouring': someones always got something you can do.
  • Receiving BJ's rather than giving them.
  • Facial hair. Seems fun.
  • Cooler sports wear. I like pink, doesn't mean I want it on all my gym kit.
  • Size. No man ever fretted about whether they'll be able to squeeze into their 32 inch jeans.
  • Toilet humor.
  • Good bye conversation. Hello drinking games.
  • Low maintenance. All you need for a weekend away is pants and a toothbrush and even they are optional.
  • Lack of lists - no burdening sense of 'things I must do'.
  • Betting. Nothing's too minor to deserve a bet.

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