Sometime, about a year ago, I suddenly started hating the tube. 2 minutes at a signal and I am freaking out.

To take my mind off things I begun writing lists, each inspired by my journey on the underground.

Tuesday, 7 June 2011

Things Women should never wear

  • Berets unless you are v beautiful or French.
  • Full-length leggings under dresses.
  • Cheap maxi dresses.
  • Jumpers with blouses sewn in underneath.
  • Football shirts. It doesn't look sexy in a FHM way, it looks cheap.
  • Union jack bikinis.
  • Velour tracksuits to travel in.
  • Fake ugg boots.
  • Fancy dress costumes to look sexy.
  • White clothes on the plane back from Holiday. We can see your tan and your black thong.
  • Anything by punkyfish.
  • Any shoe made by sketchers.
  • Braids. Tight white scalps are gross.
  • Pillar box red hair after your 35th.
  • Bunches or pigtails over the age of 16.
  • Cheap Stetsons..
  • Toe rings. 
  • Nail design involving gems.
  • Sunglasses when indoors.
  • Pre-ripped jeans.
  • Head to toe beige/camel ensemble (person opposite me on the tube).
  • 'Fisherman’s pants’. Wearing them travelling is bad. Donning them at home is unacceptable.
  • Anything that gives you camel toe.
  • Bras with see-through straps. Pointless.

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