Amusing Office Behaviour

• Over keen all-staffer emails - save your banter for the changing rooms boys.
• Female pooh missions - elaborate plans to avoid people knowing you shit. Including flushing, padding out with toilet roll, going to toilets outside of the office.
• 'Saming' - those weird days when half the office come in wearing the same thing. 
• Do you mind if I  'access your screen remotely?' say IT. Yes I do. Because it feels as if you're going through my underwear drawer.
• Stationery hoarding - it's impossible not to take a couple of extra bits. Especially highlighters.
• The size of your notepad is relative to the size of you salary. Grads have A4 black & reds. MD's have pocket-size moleskines. CEO have PA's.
• The Leaving Gift Collection.  Leaves you feeling resentful and guilty in equal measures. Much like church collections.
• Playing dumb to IT. Everyone does it, so it won't get you anywhere.
• Food in meetings. Good in theory. A mine-field in practise.
• The mysterious world of HR. Who are they and what do they do?
• We've all got a family. Doesn't mean i feel the need to plaster their ugly mugs round my desk.
• Tea laws says you must offer to make everyone a brew, even when you really don't want to.
• Where do all the stolen chargers go? to the same place as socks, hairbands and lighters?
• The are two types of people: those who put new paper in the printer and those who don't.
• Awkward kitchen chat. 
• Awkward kitchen chat avoidance.
• Competitive staying late. One game nobody can win at.
• Accidental Bladder Buddies. When you, unfortunately, fall into the same toilet routine as somebody else.
• Novelty pens. Vaguely amusing at school, tragic at work.