Amusing Skiing Behaviour

• 30% of your time must be getting dressed and undressed.
• Never film yourself skiing/boarding, you'll only be disappointed.
• Taking off ski boots = better than taking a poo?
• Novelty hat wearers: chickens, dreads, helmets with ears. Embarrassing not funny.
• Phantom Farter. There's one in ever telecabin.
• 'Idiots'. The collective noun for snowboarders who sit in packs across the piste.
• 'The Great Layer Debate'. Constantly in search of that elusive 'perfect temperature'.
• Polling. Makes everyone feel like an obese penguin.
• Skiing in jeans = twat.
• Obligatory snowball fights. Fun in principle. Cold in reality.
• Meals must consist entirely of: ham, cheese, bread, cheese, potatoes, cheese, more cheese.
• Your biggest wipe outs must only happen immediately under busy chairlifts.
• Vin Chau or Chocolat Rum? An impossibly difficult decision.
• Chalet living. The lottery of 'swinging', without the sex.
• Chatty ski-school kids. You don't know what they are saying.They don't care.
• The Ancient Art of Lighting a Fag on a Chairlift. Gone but not forgotten.
• However much you ski / how cold it is you will never burn off the calories you consume.